Seriosly Fast Food wings attached
by nnaa
Summary: Maximum Ride oneshot! Written with love, and dedicated to Shannon.Written with the style of James Patterson in mind.


**Seriously fast food (wings attached)**

Disclaimer: Maximum Ride is (c) James Patterson

* * *

"You want fries with that?" Ari's voice echoed briefly before freezing my spine. 

I whipped round, expecting a fist to the face, followed by an 'oof' as my breath would catch in my chest as I was thrown backward. In its place, I discovered a slightly sticky, and _highly_ mischievous Gazzy, ketchup and all.

_One, two, three, four..._

"Admit it! I almost made you drop your burger!" He chimed. I grimaced at the wonderfully horrible metaphor Gazzy had thrown at me as I returned to my dumpster diving.

That kid was going to be a poet one day. Unfortunately for me. And the rest of the U-S of A.

"Panini! Bonus!" I held up the prize, watching Sir eat-a-lot mentally scoring his name all over it. I threw it to him, who skilfully caught it in the old paper MacDonald's bag. I'd bet all the cookies in the world it wouldn't stay there for long.

"How long till we go back? I'm hungry," He chipped in. I tried my best to ignore the muffling sounds of a disappearing Panini.

"Until we get enough to take us through tomorrow. " I threw him a look that said '_keep talking and see where the next Panini ends up'_.

"How 'bout a nice crispy bird kid to go?" The icy voice came again, dripping venom.

"Okay, Gazzy, this is getting _really_ old now," I strained over the dumpster lid. "You need some new material,"

"How 'bout a new game: mutant piñata?"

That wasn't Gazzy, that wasn't his hot meaty breath on my neck.

In my mind at that very moment? 1) Protect Gazzy. 2) Protect the Panini.

Well, what kind of leader would I be without a hearty stomach?

**

* * *

**

"Angel, Angel the marshmallow goes ON the stick, not-"

Fang sighed heavily, raising a hand to his temples.

"Man, that is one emotional marshmallow," Nudge murmured, her face glowing in the now messy embers of the small fire.

"Yup, just as I thought," said chirped Angel thoughtfully, prodding the remains with a stick, "No hope for this one,"

"Scalpel please, nurse," Nudge aimed at Iggy. He obliged much to the annoyance of Fang and handed the plastic pizza cutter to the engrossed and slightly psychotic girls.

"Doctors, the defibrillators are charged and ready!" Iggy cackled.

Fang sighed again, wishing he had someone slightly less like a three year old with him. Like Max. Then again, she'd probably supply them with a CAT scan machine and a drip.

"Is that them?" Iggy said suddenly, hearing the approach of wings and hoping that his partner in crime had returned with the acclaimed Paninis. "Man, my stomach really hopes that's them,"

Fang shielded his eyes to the setting sun, and picked out one hunky bird-like shape heading from them. He frowned, clearing his eyes with the back of his hand. Nope, still only one shape.

Angel glanced over to Fang, then out of the cave, alarmed.

Fang stood and waved a hand out. The shape circled once then dive- bombed down to the ledge.

"Gazzy? Gazzy, where's-"

"They took her," The Gasman's bruised and broken face sobbed. "They took our Max,"

**

* * *

**

"Jeez, you guys are really big on originality, aren't you?" I hissed to the eraser, who pushed me into- that's right- a freaking prison cell.

You know what? I was like Repunzel locked in her tower. Yeah...except Repulzel didn't have three thousand vaults running through the bars. Or hair that had a definite eau de badger about it. But you know what? It was a _big_ improvement on the dog crates.

In truth, I felt somewhat like a hot dog after it's been eaten, thrown back up and trodden in feels like. I'll give you a minute...yeah, that would be bad, right? One of my eyes had swollen shut and I had a spreading purple bruise the size of New Mexico down my ribs. How unfortunate that I couldn't doll my self up for my date with Ari.

"You must be Max," The whitecoat stopped at my cell. As far as I could tell, I was the only captive. And I intended to be the last.

"Well done," I said snidely, "Did they tell you that or did you figure it out for yourself? I'm fresh out of gold stars, I'm afraid" I folded my arms, reminiscent of Angel's tantrums and stared him in the eye.

A crease appeared between his eyes and he checked his notes. _That was a 'yes', genius._

I briefly wondered if the voice was likely to chime in now. Not that it had ever helped me before in a situation like this. I sucked my lip for a moment. Guess not.

"This one, boys," The whitecoat called down the hall past my cell.

My eyes locked to the right, onto two heavily booted feet.

Ari grinned at me through the bars.

"Want a rematch?"

I spat in his face.

**

* * *

**

Fang hung back for a moment, examining Gazzy for perhaps the hundredth time.

His small face was deathly pale, coloured with cuts and spreading bruises. He caught Fang looking at him and he turned his head, tears sprouting in those big blue eyes.

Fang hesitated; it wasn't like he could fly over there and hug him or anything. And then: _what would Max do?_ He winced. Since Gazzy hade came back to the cave with the texture and colour of a half- set jelly, Fang had tried to think about anyone but her. He pulled up to him again, and beat his dark wings in union, so that they brushed against Gazzy's on every down -stroke.

Gazzy glanced at Fang quickly, tears running down his cheeks freely now, before being sucked back by the wind.

"Fang," Nudge screamed as sensitively as she could over the roaring air currents, "I think we should stop for a while," Then, with a wounded face she added "We don't even know where we're going,"

Fang nodded grimly. Nudge had a point, plus It's what Max would do.

He nodded to the others, Angel tapped Iggy's hand, staying within wingspan, and the circled down into abandoned shrub behind a dead- looking gas station.

If the station looked dead, the staff was practically decomposing in their '_ask me about our new pump service_!' badges.

He handed over Fang's food and maps without a second glance. _Jesus, five kids who look as if they've just climbed out of a well just bought maps to all the major interchanges_ _and highways. He must be a real optimist._ Fang scrutinised him for a moment. _Nope, just stoned or something._

"Come again..." The voice droned out from the automatic doors.

Nudge had ordered a mountain of hotdogs from the burger van outside, much to Fang's –and the van worker's- surprise.

"Looks like you got everything sorted here," he murmured as he pulled the maps from the flimsy polythene bag. To say 'it was going to be a long day' would be the understatement of the millennium, so instead he pulled the flock closer around their small table.

"Let's find our Max,"

* * *

_**Author's note:**_

This was my very first fan story I found on my laptop when preping him for his appointment with _PC World_.

It's a one-shot by the looks of it- it never was intended to be at the time of its conception- and I was so proud of it back then!

I know it is very short, which only strengthens my 'oneshot' thing. Seriously, thes is a on-shot, with a little action and nothing more.

I am actually shocked to see how my writing has changed (whilst I wait for inspiration for chapter 7of S&T) to the present day. I believe I tried to write in the same style of that af it's author, James Petterson.

So...um, that's it, thank you and I'd be happy to read any reviews


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